| (no subject) |
[Mar. 29th, 2005|05:07 pm] |
I am so going to shoot someone! it's so not fair that I have this morning off but nobody wants to do anything :-(. I'll just sit home alone and brood listening to "The Wall".
And also I am totally going to ban ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) killzme2 from commenting in my LJ for what they said about kaiisdead!!!!
This entry automatically generated by the LJ Drama Generator!
ROFL |
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| Update Finaly |
[Feb. 21st, 2005|12:09 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  cold | ] |
Yay...mechys updating woohoo now everyones gonna cme read it ....ewwwww gross nevmind...this is all i have to say..life sucks go to hell |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 19th, 2005|06:08 pm] |
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Agh so life is boring the end |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 12th, 2004|04:32 pm] |
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cannot find jacks live journal...help?? |
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| Blah |
[Nov. 23rd, 2004|07:16 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lonely | ] |
I'm lonely...kiss my ass |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2004|08:54 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giggly | ] |
Google this: "17 sure-fire ways to get your script rejected" its funny |
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| YAY |
[Oct. 24th, 2004|08:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | FUck it all | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Over and Over again" Nelly ft. Tim Mcgraw | ] |
Heyyyyyy i got Villo Vallo...if i knew who that was im sure id be thrilled....neways...had a pretty crappy life...week i mean...but hey ive had a pretty crappy life too...just realized how fucking lonely i am...i hate love songs, and i hate love stories, and movies....and i kno i hav no right to complain cuz i mean joe wud have me in a second but...i dont kno thers sumthing preventing me frm doing that...mostly myself...but i dont understand why...i have my reason...id prefer to keep them to myself...as only 5 ppl in the world kno...the person who did it, me, and about 3 other ppl i told. right now i need sum1 big sum1 who can hold me in ther lap and still have space to move around...im in the faggyiest ass mood right now...where i just kinda want sum1 to kiss me and tell me they love me and that im special and that im the most special person...bens in a bad mood this week...n thts not helping my own mood...back to me being special (weak smile) i feel like collapsing in a pool of my own vomit...beautiful...i know...but it all seems so useless wut the fuck am i doing here...breathing someone elses air, and eating sum1 elses food...but im not doing nething with myself..im restless and nothing is fun anymor...i just feel like screaming at how mechanical it is...how ppl walk down the street and dont acknowledge each other...n ive tried smiling at random ppl...they just think im crazy...and i dunno...maybe i am...i am...but i kno it...and i accept it as my fate to be stupid...but im such a waste of life..and i dunno i really would love to spend the rest of my life really blazed cuz its so great...n its the only time i feel happy...except wen i get to play hackey sock with sexy ppl like crissi,a nd arlen and cordelia....NO YOU MAY NOT STEAL MY HUSBAND WHO I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT....lovely...i guess ill stop being depressing now... |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 23rd, 2004|04:35 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Teehee | ] |
First off i just saw that angry thing...n i havent asked nebody y cordelia didnt get mad at u they asked me y cordelia was talking to both of us...n not them...n i didnt kno wut 2 say...so i asked the few ppl who might noe n wut i got was sum stuf that im not sure if it was true but was kinda bad neways, i wasnt tryin to b a hero cuz i told her about me too, and i dint kno that danny was missing that came after wards, after getting pushed by like 3 ppl i finally told her cuz it always seems to fall on me to say sum shit 2 sum1 so that they'll get wut every1 else is thinking about them...in the end im the one who gets screwed n im not mad, but i dint make that shit up...she told me that, but if she didnt say that...then i dunno i guess i imagined it (note the sarcasm) but i have no reason to say that shit about u or cristine so y wud I? u kno like i have nothing against u so i wudnt want to break u up with cristine n shit...thats not cool...n i didnt stick wrds in ur mouth i repeated back wut i herd cuz u kno arlen that ur like totally awesome...n the only reason y i got mad was cuz i heard a lot of shit that u were supposedly saying about me but it didnt seem like u either...so i was really confused..n no i kno that ur not that good with that type of shit wich is y i never confronted u with OMG y r u talking about me rofl....this is really bad cuz that means sum1 is spreading smth that eventually gets around to all of us...bjkhagjkfdhjkld welll im glad this is all resolved just responding to the lj u wrote which is pretty late cuz i dint get to see it...til today lmao...neways...yeah everythings cool...thats wut had me n a bad mood...cuz like of all ppl i really didnt think it wud come from u so i guess i was right n sum1 played with my susceptabilty to getting mad wen ppl talk about me cuz i dunno have bad history with that shit... |
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| Yeah... |
[Oct. 21st, 2004|11:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  sick | ] |
Jkgjkl;ajklg;fjdiiijjgrjdgklfjdsgfdiohgfilhdskgfods;ghio;hrklghjsgfik;ds |
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| Kill me |
[Oct. 20th, 2004|06:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  distressed | ] |
Oh god, kill me. I hope some stray car hits me while I’m crossing the street tomorrow….make sure they bury me in my converse and jean jacket, and one of my sexy tank tops…I wouldn’t have it any other way...;kajgfkl;ajgkdsa;iojgriks;gjfkdl; being grounded kills me…. |
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| *double sigh* |
[Oct. 19th, 2004|07:49 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | crappy | ] |
“Let the ruling class tremble at a communist revolution. The proletarians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win. Workers of all countries, unite.”
-Karl Marx |
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| The Human Condition vs. mortality |
[Oct. 18th, 2004|07:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  contemplative | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Californication" RHCP | ] |
Each day passes and we're stuck in an epic battle for our lives, and dreams, the human condition vs. human mortality
www.xanga.com/crying_tears_of_blood |
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| sjgkfl;djk;sgfjk;d |
[Oct. 16th, 2004|04:58 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | wutever | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Just like You" Three Days Grace | ] |
So today Tyson (my puppy) pisses on the table cloth, and my mom screams at me to clean it and she starts to beat the poor thing, i swear to fucking god shes such a whore, and so i try to stop her and she starts beating me so im like wtf and she goes clean it up and im already gettin up to go get smth and she smacks me and says thats she gonna fucking nail me to the ceiling and hang me there, and then she forces me onto my knees and makes me clean up the table cloth, and then she starts to yell at me to clean up my shit and leave, an to pack cuz im gonna leave...this week im gonna see where i can stay cuz i need sum dwn time away frm my parents...
Talked to Joe otp for like 3 hrs...no joke, and i dunno i love that kid...hes so understanding...n i think we get each other a lot more now..like i understand his down moods and he gets mine...for the least part...cuz its not like i told him nething at all..he was on the fone with me wen my mom went pyscho...it was embarrassing cuz he herd everything n i was just shaking with rage n then i started to cry cuz it upsets me a lot wen i get kicked out of my house or wen they try to neways...but im not staying here nemor...my mom can kiss my ass i dont care if shes my mom i will not respect sumone who sed theyd fucking rip my face off cuz the dog peed...its a puppy wtf am i supposed to do??? keep it in a box all day so that it wont p outside??? |
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| *tear* |
[Oct. 15th, 2004|08:03 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | melancholy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Run" By Snow Patrol | ] |
"I know what it's like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can't. How you hurt yourself on the outside to try to kill the thing on the inside"
Girl Interrupted
To think I might not see those eyes
Makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbye
I nearly do
Run by Snow Patrol |
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| Aghhh....YAY mad bipolarity today |
[Oct. 14th, 2004|05:28 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | AHAHAHAHAHAH | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "She will be Loved" Maroon 5 (yeah I kno) | ] |
So I have a test to study for...a lab to finish, mad english to make up cuz i didnt do the wrk in class n ms. lius gonna collect it, italian hmwrk, n some shit like that...im so glad 2moros friday...yo the marking period is over tomorow, and the shit is that my math teacher told me that im not doing well in her class...i got a fucking 91% on her fucking test...and i lost it...by accident n she goes nothing is ever done by accident...its always for a reason in ur head...n im like but i got a 91 y wud i want to lose it...yo wutevr n i missed ONE hmwrk assignment...n all of the sudden im on a bad road? wtf??? yo if i get an N on my report card ill be sooo annoyed...the thing is i have chemistry or gym before...so during lab days obviously i might b a lil late...n if i have gym then duhhh...n she sed it was ok at the beginning of the school yr she sed that it was understandable...n i understand most of it shit..im so fucking annoyed...wutever yo...
Besides that had a pretty nice day...stepped for sexy cordelia, and arlen, and cristine, and veddy and sara, and...i forget who else...OH YEAH salima...then sum grl frm the step team asked me to join the time n i was like eh? ROFL can u imagine me on the step team???? ther r paler grls than me so thats not the issue tho...ahahahahahahahahahahaha ME a cheerleader...too much jewelry and eye makeup and nail polish to even look like a fit in there...neways so i was dancing...i cant believe veddy doesnt dance tho thats mad fucking gay...eheeheh jk...neways that kid shud dance...one day ill corner him...ben ignored me half the day...then paid me a lot of attention and pauls a sexy beast cuz hes so cute and the freshman ASA look a like...his name is TIM hes so cute...rofl...yo id tap that...ahaha id tap that shit in a hot minute...neways im too ghetto for u...4 thos of u who dunno wut a hot minute means...its like i saying id hit that in a second...so relax roll a joint and smoke up ppl cuz TOMORROWS FRIDAY...jk...neways i really need drugs...im such a loser, did i mention ppl think im on crack...Jesus aka Kareem gave me the pro's hug...one hand on ur boob one hand on ur ass...oh yeahhh...ahhhhhh i smell like smoke im cutting back 2 2-3 cigs a day....n ima bring Febreeze or sum shit cuz i cant smell like tht hoes gotta smell nice rofl jk...im not a whore...but i kno who is *wink wink* love u all...CIAO peace ~1 |
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| Die |
[Oct. 13th, 2004|05:41 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  #^@!#&*%$ | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Heroin or Suicide" Leftover Crack | ] |
so whisper and tell me where i went wrong
tell me why everything around you lost its shine
why nothing glows
tell me why you're waiting, or what you're waiting for
never see when opportunity is at your door
let's get out of this mess
no one will even know we left
no use in dwelling on the things you'll soon forget
when this is over, it's alright
I had a pissy day…the best part however was wen I went to mcdonalds with cordelia n we talked about all the fights ive gotten into and how bad shit is getting at home…that grls mad chill (lol)…it was fun though…got a bit of stuff off my chest that I haven’t been able to tell ben cuz hes got his own shit to deal with….he acts like everything is ok so well…hmm…but I guess I do the same thing cuz no one ever knos particularly wuts bothring me…got tested recently or analyzed n ive begun to slip back into my old habits…but then again my frend did just die…oh man…I miss Lewis…today I got on the D train and everyones staring at me cuz my hairs partially covering my face but I was shaking and my face was wet…it was like a bad movie and ive realized that my life has become like a bad movie… |
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| Blah |
[Oct. 11th, 2004|10:36 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | Fuck you AND your mother | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Strawberry Gashes" Jackoff Jill | ] |
Superman died today, and I don't know it made me feel so sad on the inside
TOdays been a bad day...i get to see my aunt after she got her operation, my cuzin got an operatoin too (AGAIN) and now im just annoyed...wen i get to my aunts house i break down and start crying because I miss lewis...and i realized that his face becomes hazier and hazier in my mind, but the last smile he gave me stays forever in my head...i see him everywhere and i get so excited and then he fades away...and i dont kno if its him im seeing or if my minds playing mean games with me...so i go outside with the pretense toplay soccer cuz its the onlly way theyll let me out...and i fucked me ankle up playing in converse and kicking toohard and im crying screaming evrytimg i kick the ball...it was like smth out of an awful movie...teh day sucked ass Especially because today i found out the bens bro got into an accident that might cost him the mobility in his arm...bens like upset about it n all i can do is say baby i kno how u feel, but itll all wrk out i love you n thats all that matters...n at the moment all i want to do it show up at his doorstep and hold him in my arms and in my lap and tell him that evrythings going to be ok, because thats what mommy does to me...minus the showing up at my doorstep...one cuz i dont have a doorstep and two cuz i live with her...btw ben doesnt have a doorstep either...to bens brother:
sana sana colita de rana si no se sana hoy se sana manana...
And to Ben:
Dont worry about it its in gods hands (if ther is a god) and itll all be taken care of ull all be provided for
To the rest of u...unless ur rob...i love you and i hope you guys are all in good health and that ur families are too...
ANd ive decided that joes a nice guy n i shud date him...but once i get my shit together...and then ill date him because i kno how u feel arlen...i watch sappy movies and i feel all upset cuz i dont have a person like that...i used to listen to sappy songs and the first person who came to mind was ben....n now joe comes to mind....aww isnt that so dorky...but im still in a pissy shitty mood cuz i want lewis to come back...and ARLEN...baby im going back to Lewis house this week n ur coming with me...cuz i sed so...n i did invite u but i dunno i guess u dint hear me?? |
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| First Love |
[Oct. 10th, 2004|06:45 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  *sigh* | ] |
He paused to greet her, give her a friendly hug and a kiss, but she refused him. She pushed him away. Looking up she met his eye with a look that told him everything. He looked at her with pure sorrow, and watched sadly as she walked away to study the stars. In the night, the darknessed enveloped her small frame. He walked up behind her moments later, and touched her shoulder. He uttered two words that brought the world shattering around her feet, and the tears streaming down her face. "I'm sorry". The words resounded in her heart, and fell into rhythm with her heartbeat. He gave her one last hug and disappeared into the starlight, leaving her with the fragmented pieces of her soul. |
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| Grrr... |
[Oct. 10th, 2004|09:15 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  Fuck You | ] |
| [ | music |
| | "Broken" Seether ft. Amy Lee | ] |
So I've made my live jounral, in a few weeks it'll probably fall into obscurity.
My good mood is gone, uggh i feel really crappy right now...things don't quite ever go my way, I hope its for a reason, like what I want, isn't whats supposed to happen, because it's all driving me insane.
I have to start taking care of myself, and after I do I'll settle down and work on other things. I'm not going to do nething that could potentially upset me more than I already am.
Certain people are wearing thin on my nerves...there's only so much I can do, I don't care who you are I will not bend over backwards for you, You could be fucking JESUS and I'm not your fucking door mat. There's only so much I can say...I have my limits too, and I will not try to push them, because in the end who gets fucked over...YOU or ME? Some people are already getting on my nerves, and it's only the first month of school. I wish I was taller, then people would take me seriously, but laugh now...The day you walk away with a bloody nose, don't tell me I didn't tell you. Whatever some people need serious attitude adjustments 'cause I'm nobody's bitch, and I'm not going to be your toy or whatever, just watch out I'm not really in the best mood.
"Things made not to last die soon after birth, and more and more people are condemned from the moemnt they peek out of the womb." p.95 Upside Down |
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| FIRST ENTRY |
[Oct. 9th, 2004|10:33 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  biatch | ] |
Its my first entry biznatchs i dont kno wtf im doing so bear with me losers...comment n ill love u forever kfld;a'jfld;'jafldsa; |
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